Sleep is gooooooooood. So good.

The last few days have been hell. Literally hell. I wanted to relax a couple days after the crazy business that was going to STL to get Mya and throw her a birthday party the following day. Riley had different plans though. It all seems blurry now, since I did not get much sleep until last night. Sunday night ended up being a little rough- she woke a few times, but no biggie. Monday brought fussiness, decreased pee output, a lack of appetite and a new feeling that she didn't need to sleep. She would scream and cry in pain- the Dr even changed her antibiotic mid-day AND gave a Rx for numbing ear drops. Didn't seem to help much and I was even doing orajel since she probably had some teething pain on top of it...oh and THEN throw in the diarrhea she had from the antibiotics (which also caused upset belly w/ lack of food in there!).  So. I am a worrier by nature and when it comes to the kids I worry 10 fold. She slept 10p-11p Monday night. I left for the the ER at about 1230 and by 1a she was seen by the doctor. Her ear infection wasn't any worse and her throat looked clear and her lungs sounded good. But when I layed her down for him to check her belly all hell broke lose on his world. She screamed bloody murder. So he's a dad too- so he orders blood work and a urine test on her to calm my mind- I'm sure it was to calm me because I was crying too. Riley hates being catheterized. Hates it. And the blood draw- no better. They left in an IV and gave her fluids- No, she was not dehydrated despite her lack of eating- she was drooling enough to bottle and sell! But since she wasn't eating and they had line in already she got some fluids. And the fluids seemed to make her a little happier. Then- like POW- I remember she rolled off the couch Saturday night! OMG, I felt terrible. Call the nurse- "uhh I hate to be THAT mom, but can I get a head CT on her... she did roll of the couch and hit her head over the weekend." And it was so. The Dr ordered heat CT and went ahead and ordered chest and abdominal xray while she down at radiology. She hated those tests too. :-(

And so we wait. And so she slept- for about 20 minutes. And we waited some more. And come 430a we find out everything was clear. Did see the ear inf on the head CT, but she's good. So that was a sigh of relief. But what now with this child that won't sleep?! We leave. She cries the whole way home. We arrive home. She takes a little bottle and passes out- maybe she'll sleep?! Sort of- she slept til 7:20am. A little over 2 hours- that was it.

Well needless to say, I CANNOT manage 3 kids on 2 hrs sleep- so Mikel came home. I called the Dr... get the normal orders- little amts fluid, Ibuprofen, Tylenol, Orajel, do what we can. We both finally sleep from about 1100a to about 130p..............grrrrrr. It goes on all day Tuesday- the fussies and she ate a little more. Maybe she'll sleep Mikel says. Come 1030p she is no where near being able to sleep. Not that I don't think she wanted to- she rubbed those little eyes but just tossed and turned. I cried and pleaded with the doctor to let me give her some Benadryl- 1/2 tsp- ONE time. YES! She passed out- right after she got it- it doesn't work that fast! Hahaha She slept til 430a and drank about 4oz then went back to bed. It is now 9a and she is STILL asleep. Yes! But she has a dr appt at 1030- so shower for me and I have to wake her. I HATE to wake her more than anything right now.

Personally- I think she got so tired from the original lack of sleep due to pain that when the pain got better she couldn't sleep. I think that Benadryl helped that and I think she will be good today and eat and nap at normal nap time and fall asleep without a sleep aid. At least that is what I am hoping for. She might get an antibiotic shot today if ears don't look good. She is currently on azithromycin 200mg/5mL, up from the 100mg/5mL that is normal, a switch from the omnicef, which was a switch from amoxicillin. My poor baby. 

On Your Marks, Get Set, GO!

This fussy phase that Riley is going through has over stayed it's welcome. She is pissed that she cannot move on her own yet. Seriously pissed. She tries and just scoots backwards and so she screams- not cries, but screams. A deep, scratchy, throaty scream. It's hard for me to take, but I try to let her do it for awhile so she can attempt to learn on her own... but it's definitely wearing me down.

**note: the "back to waking 1-2x a night phase has worn out it's stay as well.

Riley goes back to the doctor tomorrow to check her ears and make sure the double ear infection cleared up. That means that Dylan will be getting sick soon..........so I have to keep a watch out for that. This whole year either one or the other have been sick and/or on antibiotics at all times. Blaze has been good though. (*note to self: remember Blaze's Rx tomorrow) Well, he's been healthy, good as in well-behaved is another story... He has been suspended the past two days from the bus for hitting our neighbor girl in the arm at the bus stop. He hit a girl. And she didn't even hit him first, but still, she's a girl. We have a rule that he can defend himself if "attacked" (sounds too big a word, but you get the idea) but not girls, you don't hit girls. So I am freed of dishes and extra chores this week because Blaze is doing them. :-)

Okay. Ry is terribly pissed and crying real tears now.

Recipes from the Heart

I have another 20 minutes left to myself before I have to wake up sleeping Riley and trek to preschool and get Dylan. After today he only has 4 days of school left and every time I think of it, I start to cry. Why do I cry? It's preschool. He's been going since February. It's the kind we pay for, it's not with the school district. Why do I cry? There will be more school. I will get to sleep in more. We'll have more spending money. Why on earth do I cry over him finishing up preschool? He's not even three years old yet. But yeah, I cry when I think of him finishing up.

On another note, I am no longer babysitting Olivia. Her grandma thought it best that her aunt start to watch her. You know, since her aunt only lives off of TANF and AFDC. I don't even know what AFDC is. I guess it's bitter sweet. It was a little bit of green in my pocket and someone for Dylan to play with, but to be honest, that girl was a terrible brat and was teaching my Dylan bad things. I got a "look" when I brought up to grandma how she was going around saying (and thus teaching Dylan) "God dangit." Now I don't know how other people feel about THEIR two year old children basically cursing, but I don't like it or want it or appreciate someone teaching it to Dylan. And I am not oblivious to the fact that kids eventually start to cuss and that Blaze probably says "holy crap" at school, but not at 2 years old.

So now with no Olivia I am again interested in and wanting a job. Yep, a j-o-b. I haven't worked-worked since I was 6 months pregnant with Dylan. *complications with preterm labor there* Now I have a degree though and just really want to use it. I don't want to forget everything I learned either! I've been home with Riley for 6 months so far and wouldn't feel bad to go back to work now. I guess it's easier with the 2nd kid. I would at least like part time. It would be nice to do 2nd shift PT so no childcare would be needed, but there aren't a lot of doctors' offices open during 2nd shift... my best bet is an immediate care like I did my clinicals at- which there is one in town! But I have found it SOOO hard to find a job right now, especially being right out of school with zip previous experience aside from clinicals. How is someone suppose to get experience without a job to start with? I have TONS of customer service experience (every job I've ever had involves it) so I keep highlighting that trait in my cover letters and such.

I've got an awesomely designed resume (maybe the content sucks, but can't help that now), a great cover letter that I tweak for each job, and a 3.7 GPA and am not THAT picky, aside from being PRN, Float, or working in Carmel. Grrr.


And a note about Mother's Day to finish up. My kids are awesome as is, and most of them are too young to do Mother's Day-type things... but Blaze always blows my mind and makes tear up when he makes his gift at school (that they do every year) and comes home and gives it to me. Me. Not his mom, but me. I mean, I know I am the one raising him and worrying about him and all that, but when he actually does something like that and doesn't have a SINGLE thing for his mom (which kinda makes me feel bad... ) I feel so awesome and loved. So this year I got a cookbook! It's titled "Recipes from the Heart" and has his picture on it and is laminated and has a little saying inside the cover. ♥  So. I helped him scrounge together a homemade card for his mom.

I got a cookbook though.

Reason #2 I am glad to be done having kids....

Not that there are more good points and happy reasons that I would still have more kids, but face it- there are reasons to be glad there will be no more babies to raise.

#1 No more sleepless nights- whether they are due to being fat and uncomfortable or due to having a 3 week old infant waking every 3 hours to nurse.

#2 No additional children to potty train.

This is my first real adventure with potty training and it's been started and paused a few times in the last year. I wanted to PT Dylan early, but his speech development, or lack there of, made it difficult. So I put it off. Then I got pregnant again and I'm lazy enough as it is- throw in a human growing inside of me and taking up room and energy and I am not up to washing dishes, let alone potty train an almost 2 year old. Oh, and then came having the baby... yep. Those sleepless nights mentioned in reason #1, they keep you from having energy during the day to do everything else around the house and potty training. Not to mention baby girl was needing me a lot during the day at those early months.

So here we are with baby Riley a whopping six months old! She is doing so well. She sleeps less, but she's not as needy. She sits on her own, entertains herself with toys, doesn't require food every 3 hours. Oh crap, that means it's time to potty train. He's did real well yesterday! My big boy pooped a REAL poop (and by REAL I mean 5" long and solid!) in his potty! He did have some accidents through the day, but when he sat on the potty he went potty! He went so many times yesterday I lost count- but would estimate at about 8. And the thing with Dylan is- he will totally squeeze out whatever he has when he sits! Whether it's one little rabbit turd or a whole teaspoon of pee! He even got on the big potty! He likes to flush.

Today though, we have been stalled again. He has some diarrhea- like liquid kind. Makes me grateful to have hardwood floors because if we had carpet it would be shot. So instead of having the option to run around naked and sit and pee as he likes we are wearing a diaper and I will ask him if he has to potty periodically. Which sucks- he likes the run around naked method and I think he does better with it. It probably doesn't hurt that I give him a DumDum sucker each time he goes :-) Even at 1030p at night....................